Rejection. It is something that sucks and no matter how thick you think your skin is, it still hurts. Recently I had another writing rejection. I’ve had some time to think it through and I’ve realised there are several stages to dealing with rejection.
- Sadness and denial: it’s happened again. But it was perfect this time! You went over it, checked every detail, there was absolutely nothing wrong and you simply don’t get why you’re being rejected.
- Anger: Screw them! They don’t know what an awesome story they are missing out on. You’re brilliant.
- Acceptance: Maybe other people simply had a better story concept, or yours wasn’t what they were looking for this time. Just maybe your story wasn’t as great as you thought it was. Time to revise and try again.
The difference for me this time was it took me about 30 minutes to go through the stages. I usually wallow in stage 1 for a few days, stage 2 for a couple of hours (anger is so not my thing) and get to the last one feeling a little wrecked over the all thing.
I’d love to say that the reason I cycled through it quickly was because I’ve learnt to deal with it all better, but that’s not true. You see I had a training session booked at the gym about 10 minutes after getting the rejection. I was surprised by how much the physical release and focus really helped. My trainer, who competes in figure competitions rather successfully, also gave me some pretty good advice: don’t focus on the prize, focus on writing the story and being happy with it. That way if you win it’s an added bonus. Hell yes! This instantly became my mantra and I’m taking it with me into the next writing comp I’m entering.
I have to say that I feel like the potential for rejection is not as significant now. It’ll still hurt, I’m not delusional, but I’m taking it for the learning experience it is. With my trainer’s advice I’m focusing on the story, which is were I should have been focusing all along, and enjoying it for what it is. The advice was unexpected, but absolutely what I needed to hear. Have you ever had advice given to you in an unexpected moment and had it resonate? If so, I’d love to hear about it. Also any tips you have for dealing with rejection.
Well, that’s me for this week, Hope you all have a brilliant and creative week 🙂