Social Media and Me

For most of December 2019 and all of January 2020, I stayed off social media. I deleted apps from my phone and only went on Facebook through my computer if I needed too (I belong to several groups that mainly communicate through there, so if I need to talk to them, that is my best and, sometimes only, option).

It was a revelation.

Sydney Sims

Firstly, near the end of 2019, I was close to being burnt out. I was tired all the time, my mental health was a rollercoaster and I found going on social media was wearing me out and bringing me down. With several family members coming to visit and not leaving until the middle of January, I knew I needed to do something. The easiest thing was to stop going on social media.

The difference was immediate. I was anxious to start with, worried about what I would miss, but this passed within a few days and by the end of a week I was feeling a lot freer. I no longer cared about what everyone was up to and instead, began to focus on myself and my family a lot more.

The next few weeks were pretty good, filled with spending time with loved ones, going to the beach and just generally enjoying the school holidays.

Then life got in the way, as it does. I ended up in the hospital for the last week of the school holidays and I’ve been a half step behind ever since. Once the kids went back to school, I found myself with excess time and little energy. Enter social media.

My whole reason for the break was to focus on myself, my family and to rest. Now I was resting but on social media to cure some of the boredom from the enforced aspect of it. The irony.

I returned and found my approach to it was different. I was more mindful, which I had certainly not intended. I didn’t reinstall Facebook on my phone, happy to log onto it from my computer as needed. I tend to check it once a day, pretty much like I do my email inbox. Twitter is a bit hit and miss, I’ll either be on it all the time or absent for weeks. Instagram though was and still is my social media of choice.

I like scrolling through pics and reading peoples captions, plus sharing my own. But even the way I am on there has changed. Instead of mindlessly scrolling through my feed, I actually interact with people.

Previously I had been mindlessly consuming, liking and moving on. I also noticed that I hadn’t been doing the things that I needed to do to get to where I wanted to be in life. Instead, I had been scrolling through my socials. Getting further behind, seeing other people’s successes and stressing the fuck out over it. Plus, the scrolling caused me to be overloaded with information. For example, Mount Kosciuszko and Mount Townsend in NSW swapped names because of misinformation that Kosciuszko was taller when in reality it was Townsend. Instead of correcting that mistake, the names were swapped and Kosciuszko is still the tallest. Thank you social media for that useless bit of info.

But back to my point. Like anything, if you are not mindful with your social media consumption, it will take over and before you know it, you’ll be behind in your goals and wondering how the hell it happened. Personally, I’m much happier now that social media doesn’t have control over me. Honestly, before this break, it was such a huge part of my life. I was constantly on it, wondering why everyone else was succeeding and I wasn’t. In hindsight, it was because I wasn’t dedicating time towards my goals, but social media was giving me a quick fix. A way to feel like I was doing something, simply by posting. The reality was somewhat different.

Now I dedicate time every day towards furthering my life. I plan it the night before so that I get up in the morning knowing what to expect of myself. For me, it takes out the decision process when I wake up and I pretty much go on autopilot to start with. I figure that no one else will do it for me and instead of complaining and feeling miserable, I really need to get off my arse and simply do it. And all this came about simply by taking a break from social media.

Take a break for a week yourself and see how it feels. Then try it for a month and see what happens. If you do it, let me know what happens. I’m interested to see what other people’s experiences with a social media break would be. So far, I know two other people who have done it and they found they were far more productive plus their mental health improved. I guess, like anything, it’s all about boundaries.

Anyway, my lovelies, have an awesome month xx

An Update

Hello beautiful souls, it’s been a while. Let’s catch up.

In my last post I wrote about my grandmother. My heart was splintering as I came to terms with the fact that the cancer she was fighting had become terminal. The chemo was stopped, seeing as it was causing more harm than good. The family readied themselves for the inevitable as palliative care became the norm. Well, Gran had one more trick up her sleeve.

As the chemo left her body she got stronger. That was to be expected and we rejoiced. What wasn’t expected was that she continued to get stronger.  At her last check up the scans revealed she is in remission.

You read that right. The woman with terminal cancer has managed to fight it into remission. I didn’t know that was possible.

I was meeting a friend at a cafe when I got the news. You could have pushed me over and met no resistance, I was so shocked. It’s taken me nearly a month to get my head around it. The only thing she’s been taking, apart from mild painkillers and insulin, is cannabis oil. I’m not a doctor or research scientist, but if that’s what’s helped her, fantastic. If it’s a placebo effect, I really don’t care. She’s still here.

That’s the other thing. She’s still here but I have barely seen her. I’m fighting my own, much smaller, battle. Clinical depression. I’m not ready to open up about that yet, but given time I will. You see, I’m still absorbing that as well. It’s not that I reject the idea, it’s more that I’m surprised by it and how it has been quietly affecting my life for longer than I could have possibly imagined.

All of this has, surprisingly, effected my writing only a little bit. I’ve placed Balance to one side for the moment. I’ve not given up on it, but I am yet to find the right home for it. I’m tossing around the idea of self publishing but that is something that will have to wait. There is a lot more involved with self publishing than I can currently handle, if I’m truthful. I can be a perfectionist and I’m afraid that side of me would take over. But it is something I think I would like to do.

I’ve finished the first draft of Rosie. I can’t remember if I’ve told you guys or not, but the title for that story has now been changed to A Plagued Life. That is sitting to one side so that I can come back to it with fresh eyes. The current plan is to start editing it in May.

A new story has been started! This one is different from the other two with more of a sci-fi bent to it. It’s about an AI expert who has always been obsessed with the story of Snow White, in particular the mirror owned by the wicked step mother. Eventually she creates an AI version of the mirror, with the mandate that it must always tell the truth. But what will happen when the mirror realises that it’s creator broke the law? A law that says the mirror should not exist.

It is a story that is intriguing me to write because of the ethical implications. It’s taking some twist and turns I had not expected, but I’m really enjoying writing it.

I’m also attempting to enter writing competitions every month for this year. So far I’m on track, but it is only April 😉

I’ve also stopped writing for Her Heart. If you follow Her Heart on Instagram you’ll see that it is going through some major changes. There are no hard feelings and I may return to write articles for them once things settle down, but for the moment our interests are diverging.

And that’s it! So what about you, lovely souls? What have you been up to? Let me know in the comments or DM me if you prefer 🙂

Most importantly though, have an awesome and creative week!

xx

Grandmother

I recently read a book which correlated rather surprisingly with my life. I was not expecting it and indeed, at one point put the book down finding it too heavy. Still I did not connect why. Not until the next day while shopping and thinking of nothing in particular.

It happens like that. Sudden realisations seemingly out of the blue. But they’re not really, because the mind is always working, whether we wish it to or not.

The book in question is Amanda Curtin’s Elemental. This book is a wonderful read and if you are looking for a story with a strong historical bent, then I urge you to read it. There are certain similarities between the book and my family. Not the same, but enough to give me pause.  Enough for me to look at my own life and what I have been ignoring.

You see, my grandmother is not well. In fact, she is dying.

Every time I see her, she is frailer in body but remarkably stronger in spirit. It is confronting, seeing someone with such a large presence in my life slowly slip away. And it is slow. She can’t walk far now, needing a wheelchair if she leaves the house. She stops people visiting when she is feeling too weak and that’s fine, she needs to put herself first. But her life is ending and it is bittersweet.

She has not been well for a long time. But how do you say goodbye to someone who is still here?

Every visit feels like a little part of her is gone. But. She is still my grandmother who laughs at rude jokes, even if she doesn’t eat much anymore. She is still the woman who taught me ballet steps and how not to cook. The woman who cried endless tears when Princess Diana died, bore 4 children and adopted another. She is my grandmother and she is still here.

And that is what Elemental has taught me, appreciate what we have right now, even if it is bittersweet.

I’m lucky. I’m 34 and I still have all my grandparents alive. But this first one leaving me is hurting. I need to make the most of the time she has left, the lessons she has taught me and the ones she is still teaching. She is a strong woman and one day, when the time is right, I will tell her story. It is the least I can do for her.

Have a lovely and creative week everyone xx

Hashtags

Hello my lovelies 🙂

I’ve been quiet on here but I have written a few articles over on Her Heart. The latest two are connected and talk about hashtags and how to use them on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook. Take a look here and here and let me know what you think, also if you have any tips to add.

Photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash

Hope you are having an awesome and creative time and if not, here’s a big virtual hug. I hope things work out for you soon xx

Writing Changes

Photo by Chris Lawton on Unsplash

When I first decided to take this writing gig seriously I understood that I had lessons to learn and improvements to make. What I really didn’t understand was that my reason for writing would change, nor the mental changes that would happen along the way.

So my original reason for writing was to provide solace for readers, the way my favourite writers do for me. Sometimes you simply want to escape your life for a little while and reading is the perfect solution for that. Little cost and you don’t have to go anywhere but you still feel like you’re having an adventure. But now, while I still want to do that, I actually want to also write for the story’s sake. I have this burning need inside me to tell a story and I really want it to get out. I have no desire to be burnt alive and that’s rather what I feel like will happen if I don’t write creatively. It’s odd and I’m not being light hearted with my words when I write that, the feeling is rather strong and I couldn’t stop writing if I tried.

Now, last week I had a little panic attack about all this.

For the past month or so I have been doing morning pages. For those of you who don’t know, morning pages is a concept where you write whatever is on your mind first thing in the morning (or whenever you can manage it, some people do it on their morning commute, others once the kids are dropped off at school etc.). Most people fill out 3 A4 pages by hand, the only requirement being that you write whatever springs to mind and do so by hand, not typing. I prefer to set a timer for 15 minutes and go for it. That’s just a personal preference and what works for me.

Now, back to the panic attack. I realised one morning, while writing my pages, that my well of creative inspiration was nearly dry. Why? Because a lot of my inspiration comes from my emotions. Completing my morning pages has effectively calmed that down and I don’t have this storm to draw from anymore. Cue panic. But by the end of that morning’s pages I had figured it out. My writing is actually stronger for this because I can focus on the story and what it needs, not what I need. Yes, I’ll still be emotionally connected to my story, but it won’t be everything. I really think this will benefit me and my writing. First test: Furious Fiction.

The Australian Writers Centre had their monthly competition out over the weekend and I’ve entered it using this new way of writing. I’ll let you guys know how I go! What I will say is that writing the short story for the competition was very different compared to how I normally write. I was able to look at the story while I was writing and understand what was working and what wasn’t straight away. I still wrote the first draft and let it sit over night, but it was odd to find myself editing as I went.

Usually I write the first draft and think it’s freaking awesome lol. I type the end and think it needs no editing. Experience has taught me otherwise and the reality is that when I’m at the half way point, I know it still needs work, but something about reaching the end convinces me otherwise for a little while.

Have you had any moments like this? The thinking things are great and the panic moment. It really did scare me before I settled down and realised it was a good thing. My default setting with my creative side is panic when something changes, time to re-frame that and be more positive 🙂

Hope you all have a happy and creative week lovelies xx

If you want to enter the Australian Writers Centre monthly Furious Fiction competition, you can do so here.

 

Her Heart – Motivation

Photo by Austin Chan on Unsplash

Hello awesome people. I haven’t written a post on here for a few weeks, but I have been active over at Her Heart. My latest article there is on motivation and discusses the five second rule and decision fatigue. To take a look click on this link.

Have a fantastic and creative day everyone xx

Inspiration Found Me

In last week’s post I committed to not posting every week. Yet here I am posting a week later, ah the irony. But why, after stressing myself out about the commitment, am I disregarding it? That would be because of one Holden Sheppard.

Read on to find out what happened.

Holden published a blog post on Friday the 29th June that really resonated with me. I was in a writing funk full of self-doubt and this post helped me climb out of it. In it, Holden had given himself permission to write horseshit because he figured he could fix it up later.

You might not write well every day, but you can always edit a bad page. You can’t edit a blank page. – Jodi Picoult.

He also spoke about self-sabotage. Hello, let me introduce you to the Queen of that particular kingdom (that would be me). Case in point, hitting the first target for Rosie and then coming to almost a complete stop on it. For no reason other than I was starting to feel completely inadequate. Perfectionism also reared its head and that paralysed me even further. So I followed Holden’s lead and gave myself permission to write horseshit. It felt rather freeing to do that. I’ll let you know how it works out when it comes time to edit!

One other thing happened that helped pull me out of my self-doubt. A lovely person contacted me via Instagram, saying that my latest article at Her Heart Poetry had inspired her and that it had helped her after a very stressful month. I can’t tell you how much that made my day.

You see, that article had been hard for me to write. I was mentally exhausted and my mind was all over the place. If it wasn’t for my sense of commitment and Her Heart’s Editor in Chief, Samuel, that article would have never happened. I was very close to throwing my hands up in the air, saying fuck it and calling it quits on the whole thing. It is very rewarding to know that I eventually got it done and that it has gone on to help someone.

It amazes me that both incidents happened within 24 hours of each other. They have, in turn, inspired me to not give up. That although writing is hard sometimes and I have self-doubt over it, I love it. It also reminded me that when I write from the heart I honestly feel free and like I have found my version of paradise.  And who would want to give that up?

You can read Holden’s awesome post here.

My Her Heart post can be found here.

Have a fantastic and creative week everyone xx

A Little Update

Hello lovely people! What’s happening in your part of the world? In my part (Western Australia) it’s winter and I’m freaking envious as hell of all the summer pictures I’m seeing from the northern hemisphere. Don’t worry, I’ll return the favour when our summer rolls around 🙂

Okay, now that I’ve complained about winter, let’s get onto the writing part.

I’ve signed up for Camp Nano (you can more about what that is here) and am sharing a cabin with an awesome crew of writers I’ve met on twitter. They are so funny and I’m looking forward to it. Especially as I’m in the midst of writing a first draft so having a cheer squad for the month of July will be fantastic. That deadline of August 24 for Rosie (the first draft!) is starting to feel very real.

I’ve got a few articles up on Her Heart which you can view here. The first draft of Rosie is coming along nicely and I’ve hit the quarter of the way target. I’m looking at several writing competitions for short stories and poetry, which I’m seriously considering entering so long as it doesn’t interfere with Rosie.

Now to other news.

My personal life is rather stressful at the moment for good and not so good reasons. My grandmother is very sick, my husband is about to start a job which means he’ll be home every night (he’s worked away for over 80% of the year for the last 5 years) and a few other things are also happening. Consequently I’m not going to commit to posting every week.

My novel is my writing priority and I can already see that it is proving difficult to juggle it, this blog and my personal life. So it’s time for a temporary reshuffle. But fear not, I’ll still be here, I’m just not setting a time frame for posting.

Anyway, thanks for reading and I hope you guys have a happy and creative day.

P.S. I’ll still be posting articles on Her Heart every second week 🙂

The Tattooist of Auschwitz: A Review

The Tattooist of Auschwitz by Heather Morris is based on a true story. One of horror, hope and the human survival instinct.

It is a story that didn’t make me cry but is one that is still with me days later. I have no doubt it will be with me in 20 years time. You don’t forget a story like that and the reality is you shouldn’t. The atrocities committed need to be remembered so that they are never repeated. That is the most important thing about history after all, learning from the past.

Morris was introduced to Lale Sokolov, the main protagonist, with the words, he ‘might just have a story worth telling.’ Might was a vast understatement. Lale was the man who tattooed the numbers Auschwitz prisoners had on their left arm, forever marking them as inferior in the eyes of the Nazis. Make no mistake, Lale had no choice in the matter and wore a number tattoo himself. What sets him apart is his utter determination to survive and his love for Gita, a fellow prisoner.

It is hard for me to articulate exactly how Lale’s story has affected me. The overwhelming sense of speechlessness and awe is an odd mix that has made me appreciate my own life and the freedom I have.

A heartbreaking and inspiring tale of the human spirit, The Tattooist of Auschwitz is written in a straight forward manner. There is no need for elaborate language when you consider the sheer bleakness surrounding this time in history. Similar in concept to Schindler’s List and the red dress in an otherwise black and white movie, the language in this book allows the story to speak for itself.

Well my lovely people, this book knocked me around a little. Not surprising considering the subject matter. If you have read it please let me know your thoughts, I’m keen to hear other’s opinions on it.

Have a fantastic and creative week everyone and appreciate every moment xx

Creative Change

My writing process is something I thought I had nailed down. Yeah, there might be minor changes depending on the project, but I thought I had the major components figured out. Enter Rosie. This freaking project has turned all of that on its head.

Usually I write my stories from beginning to end. I do some research beforehand, start my spider web (read about that here) and let the story unravel as it needs to. I also research more as I go because I’ve either forgotten the needed information or I simply hadn’t thought to look that particular bit up beforehand. This method has worked for me for two manuscripts as well as a few short stories. Why change it?

Well… I didn’t intend to but Rosie had other ideas. I started off like normal, researching and starting my web. I even worked out a word contract with myself so that I would stay on track. If you don’t know, a word contract is when you have a deadline and word count target, figure out how many writing days until that date and then how many words you need to write per day to meet the deadline and manuscript target. It’s a good way to keep yourself accountable.

Now I wrote about the first 4000 words when I realised this approach wasn’t working for me. A particular scene that will happen much later in the book kept annoying me and in the end I opened a second word document and wrote it, just so I could get it out of my head. I’m not a plotter when it comes to my stories so I had no idea if this particular scene would end up in the story like I thought but it demanded to be written so I obliged. I thought this was a once off but it happened two more times. I wondered what the hell was going on but decided to go with the flow. I was still meeting my daily word count, so I figured why not 🙂

Then came that magic day when I was writing the main part of Rosie and realised one of the scenes I had already written fit where I was up to. I pasted it in, reread that section to double check it worked and it did. I nearly cried with relief, I definitely did a happy dance. It was a magic moment where I realised that I had trusted my creative instinct and it worked. It’s an invaluable lesson and one I had no idea I was learning at the time.

So what about you, dear reader? Have you had a moment like that? Also, is your own creative process a changing thing or something that is set in stone? Let me know in the comments, I’d love to hear about it.

Have a fantastic and creative week people xx