When Life Hands You Lemons…

You make lemonade. Or martinis if you need the alcohol. And are of legal drinking age. But that is not what I did this week. Oh hell no, I took those lemons and multiplied them. In other words things went wrong and I dwelled on them and made them worse. Bit of a talent really.

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I picked plenty of mental lemons this week

I didn’t start like that though. At first I just dealt with things going wrong this week. I figured that things don’t always go your way in life and this was just one of those times. And then Wednesday happened. At first it was great, had a breakthrough with my latest story that had been bugging me for a few days and caught up with a great bunch of ladies in the morning. Picked the kids up from school, got home and then wham! Arianna, my youngest, threw up all over the kitchen floor. I think she got every inch of it. Then she got the couch, then the kitchen floor again and then her bed.

In the space of about 3 hours I felt like I was enduring a major disaster of epic proportions. And then my husband came home unexpectedly (he works away for varying stints of time) and it was like the eye of the storm. Come morning he was gone again, but it was nice having him there. Arianna woke up fine and I thought yay, I’ll have a quiet day catching up on washing and relaxing. Nope. Keeley was sick. Phase two of the natural disaster starts and this is were I start to lose it a bit.

After dealing with Keeley being sick I thought Friday was going to be a nice quiet day. And it was, until the evening when Keeley was sick again. This time was worse and I seriously considered taking her to the hospital before she fell asleep and settled down. By this time I was a wreck. I had tried to continue with life, but seriously, I was worn out and every little problem became magnified. I banned myself from social media  as I knew that anything I did was coming from a negative mindset (I was sorta successful at that and it became another thing to get upset about with myself). I talked to my mum and my best friend, trying to halt the negativity.

Then on Saturday Talon, my oldest, got sick and I thought stuff it, (actually I used a more grown up word) and had a whinge on Facebook. And I found out that other people were going through the same thing. I no longer felt so alone and even better, a certain person told me that this is life and that I am not sucking at it, I’m doing great and to roll with it. It was actually what I needed to hear.

So that brings me to Sunday and the day I am writing this post. Both my boys are sound asleep and it’s 8:30 am (a sleep in for them), my girls are awake and are eating pizza shapes while watching YouTube on my iPad. I feel a bit bad about what the girls are having for breakfast but it’s not like it’s an everyday occurrence and truthfully, I’m just enjoying the peace and quiet for a moment.

I was meant to go to a creative workshop this morning but I’ve cancelled it. One because I’m not sure how Talon will be this morning and two, I’m afraid that Dante will get sick as well. Also, I’m just not in the right headspace for it. I’m tired and worn out and I’d be wasting the teacher’s time. Sometimes I need to stop and focus on the important things and right this very second that is my children and my need to be at home.

So that’s what I’m doing. I could push through and try to keep doing everything, but bitter experience has taught me that I just end up collapsing into a heap, unable to look after the very people I have been trying to soldier on for.

Now to take my abundance of lemons and make lemonade for the children because I don’t really like martinis 🙂

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