My week has been pretty great in some aspects, I got to be a part of Tillie Cole’s cover reveal for A Veil of Vines (if you want to read more about that click here: Cover Reveal: A Veil of Vines) and that felt awesome. I was super excited as I’m a huge fan of Tillie’s, her books offer something different every time and she always draws me in instantly.
I became a part of that by following her on Instagram and filling out a form when she posted the opportunity. That simple. But I nearly didn’t do it. I figured I was a small time blogger, there was no way I’d be able to be a part of something like that. However a little voice in my head told me that I’d never know if I didn’t try, so I did. And I got the opportunity.
Which was freaking awesome timing because earlier that week I had been questioning myself and why the hell I am doing this. I recently lost a writing competition, haven’t heard back from publishers and I was in a funk. I understand that I didn’t win the competition because I strayed from my selected genre too much and I haven’t heard back from the publishers because there simply hasn’t been enough time, but still I was down about it all.
That’s the thing about this writing business, essentially you are on your own. You have to have something inside that won’t let you give up because it is all to easy to do so. Writing a first book is a mammoth task, there is no one standing over you cracking the whip to get it done. You honestly don’t know if the time you are dedicating to writing will ever pay off and that is a scary freaking prospect.
It’s a gamble and as someone who personally isn’t that fond of gambling it gets to me at times. But I love writing. I love creating new worlds and characters and seeing what they all get up to. I get sad if I don’t write and it really does make me easier to get along with, its almost like therapy in a way.
But I also want results and acknowledgment, I’m needy like that. And I wasn’t getting it.
So I took a step back after getting Tillie’s cover reveal email and actually thought about things instead of being emotional about it. I have made progress, I’ve written a book and sent it to publishers, I’ve got a blog and followers and I’ve made friends in the writing community. All things I didn’t have 10 months ago. Clearly I’ve made progress and am moving forward. I just needed to see it.
Sometimes it just takes a different perspective to see that. I was comparing myself to already well established authors and I’m not one of them. Yet. I’ll get there, I’m on this roller coaster ride with no intention of getting off. I just need to remember a roller coaster goes up and down, it’s the only way to get the thrills.